My adventures in health care.

This post will probably have to be in a couple of parts. It is a very long story, and I am cutting much of it out. Mostly I want to share all the stupidity I have encountered over the last month.

In a way, I have no idea where to begin this post. I guess I will do the good news first. We bought a house and we got moved in and we are mostly settled. All is well on that front.

Other than that, I have seen more doctors in the last month than I think I have seen in the rest of my life. I had a seizure early on President's Day morning, and I managed to dislocate my right shoulder in the process (part of why I haven't gotten around to posting in a while). I don't remember more than glimpses of Monday- they had to sedate me to put my shoulder back in, and I tend to lose time when I have a seizure, so most of what I know about Monday is what other people have told me.

My first clear memory is waking up on Tuesday morning. I was very confused. I had to think really hard about where I was and how I got there. I was also starving. I did not know that I had eaten only half of a grilled cheese sandwich the day before. I was in two different hospitals, and nobody thought about getting me anything to eat. My sister is the one who brought me the sandwich.

So, at that point they wrap up my shoulder, put me in a wheelchair and take me to the door. Jake goes to bring the car around. The guy pushing my wheelchair takes me to a big window and says that Jake will pull up right out there, and leaves. I see our car come around the corner and wonder how in the world I am going to get out the door. I was way too dizzy to walk, and could not wheel the wheelchair with only my left hand. I looked around for help and noticed a security guard booth or some sort where three guys are goofing off. I called something about could somebody be so kind as to help me to my car. The one calls back that he can't leave his post. One of them finally took pity on me and helped me to the car. Wonderful.

I only vaguely remember most of that week.

The first doctor I could get an appointment with was the orthopedic surgeon. I get there and give them all my insurance info. and pay my copay (this is important to the story later). Then they take me back and have me change into a gown so they can take x-rays of my shoulder (side note: if the x-ray can see through my skin and their gown, why can't it see through my clothes?) I get back there and one guy arranges my arm, then the girl behind the glass wall takes the x-ray. "You've had surgery on your shoulder." She says after looking at the picture on the screen. "No, I have not. I am here to see if I need surgery." I am already confused enough on the drugs they have put me on. I don't need her help! "Well, there are staples in your shoulder." She says. I am thinking to myself that surely someone would have mentioned it to me if I had had surgery. "I really don't think that I have." So, the guy who arranged my arm comes around and starts messing with the hospital gown. It has staples in it. "They're in the gown." He tells her. Now I am sorry, but this is just about the stupidest thing I can think of in the whole world. Why in the world would there be staples in a hospital gown, especially one they use for x-rays? For a split second I had this image of kids in kindergarten with their bus numbers pinned to their shirts to make sure they get on the right buses. And the stupidity only gets worse...